By Ever wanted advice on your relationship from that cool guy friend who has all the answers? Well, Mr. X is that friend for you. Every other week, he’s going to answer the questions you send him and if there’s one thing you can count on him for, it’s being honest. So go ahead, ask Mr. X
I recently got divorced after an 8 yearlong emotionally distant marriage with a lot of gaslighting. I loved the man, but it became evident his love to me only existed when he needed help moving forward in his career. Anyways, it’s over I’ve healed, great. Now since I’m single, my friends joke around about finding another man. Primarily because I am a hopeless romantic. So, I decided to download the famous Minder app. I went through the entire app and couldn’t find anyone who didn’t give me a bad vibe. I did match with four guys, out of which only one reached out to me. He’s keeping the conversation casual, but he seems interesting.
The problem is he replies very late, so we rarely ever build a conversation. He watches all my Instagram stories and likes my pictures but answers my messages 5-10 hours later. I understand he most probably is talking to other girls on the app too. He did ask to speak on the phone and break the monotony. He explained that texting isn’t his thing, he’s a call guy. He also asked me what my expectation from Minder was and I told him my background and how I am looking to date in hopes it turns into a serious relationship because I am a serious girl. He said that’s what he wants as well but he likes things to flow themselves.
Anyhow we haven’t spoken on the phone since then. He does message me almost every day, but it’s just causal and again the replies come 5-10 hours later. I’ve had my heart broken and I’m very cautious that I don’t seem desperate, but I do want to get to know him, I’m just not sure how he feels because he doesn’t completely ghost me either. From a guy’s perspective what do you think is going on?”
You want to know what I really think?
It’s not that he’s not into you, it’s just that he’s not that into you, or maybe even the idea of a serious relationship at this point. And this has nothing to do with you by the way! He honestly hasn’t even given you a proper chance.
The truth is, when a guy really wants to make a move, nothing in the world can stop him from doing so. Especially, when he’s gotten confirmation from the girl that the feelings are mutual. So, the fact that he’s not putting in that effort makes me think that he’s just wasting time or killing some sort of boredom. If he’s a phone guy, he should be calling you more often. He likes you enough to talk to you occasionally, he probably finds you physically attractive if he’s following you on Instagram, but he’s not taken by you just yet.
My advice to you isn’t to stop talking to him, but rather, don’t put all your eggs in his basket. This means, be open to other possibilities, and date other men, but when he does try, speak to him, and get to know him as well.
One of two things will happen, either you’ll find someone else and move on with your life, or he’ll get to know you and you guys will discover that you really do make a great match!
Be ready for anything and everything!
Godspeed
Mr. X
To send in your questions for Mr.X, email support@ysdemos.com with the subject ‘Question for Mr.X’. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
What do you think?
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